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A.Einstein
— Albert Einstein



Quotes

My heart Has a Mind of Its Own.
— Connie Francis



Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little,
and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick,
and if we got sick, at least we didn't die;
so, let us all be thankful.
— Buddha



Let a man warm himself by your fire and he will be warm for an hour;
set him on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
— Anonymous



Facts are meaningless.
They can be used to prove anything that's even remotely true.
— Homer Simpson



Friends welcome anytime,
relatives by appointment only.
— Sign on house door (INFP Group)



If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!
— Anonymous



The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.
— Patricia Swerda



American Stance: Everything not forbidden is permitted.
Prussian Stance: Everything not permitted is forbidden.
— Mark-Jason Dominus



Not all that is counted counts and not all that counts can be counted.
— Albert Einstein



Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
— Abraham Lincoln



I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
— Anonymous



Fiction is the truth inside the lie.
— Stephen King



Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.
— Sophocles



Ideas are to our evolving mind what mutations are to our species.
— Leroy Jack Syrop



If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
— Brooke Shields



What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?
— Dr. Robert Schuller



Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
— Stephen Leacock



To be great is to be misunderstood.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson



A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary.
Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
— Albert Einstein



If you believe in an afterlife, you might have as one of your wishes to have all your questions answered.
That may be a good thing, but not nearly so good as having all your answers questioned, and hearing the real questions you never thought of asking.
— Anonymous



Failure Is Not An Option.
It's bundled with your software.
— Anonymous



(And) #!s, #!s
Oh baby!
(When) she moves, she moves ...
— Ricky Martin



On average the total walking of an American these days
—that's walking of all types: from car to office, from office to car, around the supermarket and shopping malls
—adds up to 1.4 miles a week, barely 350 yards a day.
— Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods



Growing Old is Mandatory. Growing Wise is Optional.
— Sign in a Counselor's Office



Please be Quiet! We Need to Hear a Pin Drop.
— Bowling Alley Sign



Don't Stand There and be Hungry, Come on in and Get Fed Up.
— Sign in a Restaurant Window



Out for a quick byte.
— Sign on the Door of a Computer Store



We Would Be De-Lighted If You Sent In Your Bill.
However, If You Don't You Will Be.
— Sign at the Electric Company



We'll Be Back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!
— Sign in a Veterinarian's Waiting Room



Help! We Need Inn-Experienced People.
— Sign Outside a Hotel



No Appointment Necessary, We Hear You Coming.
— Sign Outside a Muffler Shop



The Best Way to get Back on your Feet - Miss a Car Payment.
— Sign at a Car Dealership



Let Me Meat Your Needs.
— Sign in a Butcher's Shop



Salesman Welcome, Dog Food is Expensive.
— Sign on a fence



Time Wounds All Heels.
— Sign in a Podiatrist's Office



We Really Know Our Stuff.
— Sign on a Taxidermist's Window



If You Don't See What You Are Looking For You've Come To The Right Place.
— At an Optometrist's Office



Push, Push, Push.
— Sign on Maternity Room Door



If We See Smoke We Will Assume You Are On Fire and Take Appropriate Action.
— Sign in a Non-Smoking Area



Let us remove your shorts.
— Sign on an Electrician's Truck



Keep Your Eyes on the Road and Stop Reading These Signs.
— Billboard on the Side of the Road



We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
— Towing Company Sign



Don't call us, we'll call you.
— Psychic's Hotline Sign



Hello, can we pick your nose?
— Sign on Door of a Plastic Surgeon's Office



Invite us to your next blowout.
— A Sign at a Tire Shop in Milwaukee



Seven Days Without Pizza Makes One Weak.
— Pizza Shop Slogan Sign



We repair what your husband Fixed.
— Plumber Sign



If you rest, you rust.
— Helen Hayes



Statistical observation:
In 1998, 0.00000364% of all deaths in the US were due to gun-related accidents.
In 1998, 0.00018052% of all deaths in the US were due to traffic-related accidents.
(You are fifty times more likely to be killed by a car than a bullet.)
— Cliff Savage



Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Show him to the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.
— Anonymous



I rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.
— Anonymous



Only left-handed people are in their right minds.
— Anonymous



A good doctor will never run out of patience.
— Anonymous



This machine is powered by ATP.
— Anonymous



Entropy isn't what it used to be.
— Anonymous



Friction is a drag.
— Anonymous



186,000 miles per second, is not just a good idea--it's the law.
— Anonymous



Physicists have their quarks.
— Anonymous



Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
— Anonymous



This is the bottom line.
________________________
— Anonymous



At this point in time. ---> .
— Anonymous



It’s a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you're tired—you quit when the gorilla is tired.
— Robert Strauss



Fans don't boo nobodies.
— Reggie Jackson



We made too many wrong mistakes.
— Yogi Berra



Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
— Yogi Berra



You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
— Yogi Berra



If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
— Yogi Berra



Ninety percent of this game is half mental.
— Yogi Berra



Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
— Yogi Berra



You can observe a lot by watching.
— Yogi Berra



Prediction is very hard, especially when it's about the future.
— Yogi Berra



Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
— Anonymous



The world is filled with willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
— Robert Frost



It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
— Dan Quayle



Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.
— Adlai Stevenson



Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
— Marie Curie



If I look confused it's because I'm thinking.
— Samuel Goldwyn



Worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
— Dorothy Galyean



Stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancies.
— Anonymous



Eschew Obfuscation! Espouse Elucidation!
— Anonymous



You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
— Jeanette Rankin



It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
— Judith S. Martin



... at least 80 percent of all cancer is attributable to environmental influences.
— International Agency of Research on Cancer, World Health Organization



No matter where you go, there you are.
— Buckaroo Banzai



There are no facts, only interpretations.
— Friedrich Nietzsche



Curiosity killed the cat, but at least it died a wiser cat.
— Rene F. Gutierrez Guerrero, INTP Internet Group



Plato is my friend
Aristotle is my friend
but my best friend is truth.
— Isaac Newton



Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient.
There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
— Bill Gates



Everyone has a plan, until they get hit.
— Mike Tyson



To turn $100 into $110 is work.
To turn $100 million into $110 million is inevitable.
— Edgar Bronfman



The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, the solution comes to you and you don't know how or why.... The truly valuable thing is the intuition.
— Albert Einstein



How beautiful it is to do nothing,
and then rest afterwards.
— Spanish Proverb



To be a champion long-distance runner you have to run on the edge of death.
— Toshihiko Seko, World Class Marathoner



Who we are affects whom we interact with, and whom we interact with shapes who we become.
— The Complexity of Cooperation, R. Axelrod, 1997



. . . models cannot be proven or validated, but only tested and invalidated.
— Konikow, 1992



According to my cat, my opinions don't matter.
— Anonymous



The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
— Richard Hamming



You can't solve a problem with the same thinking that created the problem in the first place.
Albert Einstein (on a bike)

The world does not encourage a perfectly rational army, because a perfectly rational army would run away.
— Anonymous



The harder I work, the luckier I get.
— Anonymous



Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It only annoys the pig, and you waste your time.
— Suzette Mills (who may have quoted from elsewhere)



Tax Bads, not Goods.
— Anonymous



Black Holes are where God is dividing by zero.
— Anonymous



Statistics are like a bikini.  
What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital.
— Anonymous



In Wine there is Wisdom, In Beer there is Strength; In Water there is  
Bacteria.
— Old German Saying



That's very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
— Anonymous



No generalization is correct, not even this one.
— Anonymous



Hydrogen is a colourless, odourless gas which, given enough time, turns into people.
— Henry Hiebert



Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by
stupidity.
— Anonymous



You have to be crazy to run, but smart enough to win.
— Badwater 146-mile ultramarathon winner Bill Mennard



Nothing can stop him.  Not even common sense.
— Anonymous



Waiter, there's no fly in my soup!
— Kermit the frog



That particular mistake will not be repeated.  There are plenty of mistakes left that have not yet been used.
— Andy Tanenbaum



It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
— Anonymous



Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.
— Anonymous



When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
— Arthur C. Clarke



We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
— Lord Rutherford



I don't live on the edge, but sometimes I go there to visit.
— Anonymous



The really nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise and is not preceded by long periods of worry and depression!
— Anonymous



When in doubt, um...
— Anonymous



He who throws mud loses ground.
— Anonymous



Real data are full of surprises.
— Anonymous



We are surrounded by insurmountable opportunities.
— Anonymous



God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things
Right now I am so far behind, I will never die.
— Anonymous



Own what you do.
— Anonymous



Life isn`t short. You`re just dead for so long!
— Anonymous



I can't talk now - I'm trying to communicate.
— Anonymous



To divide fools is easy, to unify them difficult.
— Mongolian proverb



Gerunding adverbly, Noun verbed.
— Anonymous



Knowledge must be gathered and cannot be given.
— Anonymous



We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice
as much as we speak.
— Epictetus



No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.
— Voltaire



The only thing necessary for the triumph of good is for evil men to do nothing.
— Anonymous



Imagination is more important than knowledge.
— Albert Einstein



Things are as they are, and will end as they must.
— Anonymous



There's a fine line between vision and hallucination.
— Anonymous



Older and Bolder!
— Anonymous



Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
— Anonymous



I'm not vegetarian because I love animals.
I'm vegetarian because I hate plants.
— Anonymous



The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
— G.B. Shaw



Time is just one thing after another.
— Anonymous



Speed kills - Distance only maims.
— Runners' Saying



All models are wrong. Some models are useful.
— George Box (eminent statistician)



Better not to speak and be taken for a fool, than to speak and erase all doubt.
— Abraham Lincoln



Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
— Grave's Law



I would like your opinion on something.
— Anonymous



This line intentionally left blank.
— Anonymous



Its a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.
— Environmental Consultant



Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
— Anonymous



Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
— Anonymous



Telepathy... It's coming...
— Anonymous



Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx



If I were to ask you a hypothetical question, would you answer it?
— Anonymous



Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrowmindedness and many people need it sorely on these accounts.
— Mark Twain



Remember, celery stalks at midnight.
— Anonymous



After a pint, you really start to feel good.
— American Red Cross



I know that you think you understand what you thought I said. But I am not sure that you realize that what I said is not really what I meant.
— Richard M. Nixon



I know you're an optimist if you think I'm a pessimist.
— Anonymous



Mermaid mathematicians wear algae-bras.
— Anonymous



e to the i dx dy
e to y dy
cosine secant log of pi
disintegrate em RPI !!!
— RPI Cheer



Mathematics contains much that will neither hurt one if one does not know it nor help one if one does know it.
— J.B. Mencken



Energy equals milk chocolate square.
— Anonymous



Two atoms were walking down the street.
One turns to the other and says, "Oh, no! I think I'm an ion!"
The other responds, "Are you sure?!?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
— Anonymous



Got mole problems? Call Advogadro at 602-1023.
— Anonymous



If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
— Drew Lawson



In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is a great deal of difference.
— Anonymous



Two things are infinite:  the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
— Albert Einstein



You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
— Albert Einstein



I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.
— Albert Einstein



Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
— Albert Einstein



I never thought that others would take them so much more seriously than I did.
— Albert Einstein about his theories



Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
— H. H. Williams



Charles Darwin when he saw a beetle and picked it up.  He saw a second and picked that one up in the other hand.  He then saw a third one which he really wanted.  Not knowing what to do, he shoved one of the ones he was holding into his mouth in order to pick up the third one.  The one in the mouth emitted some kind of stuff which made him spit out the beetle and also lose the other two!
— Anonymous



Q: What does (x-a)(x-b)(x-c)...(x-z) equal?
A: [Hint: check out the 24th factor].
— Anonymous



My Karma Just Ran Over Your Dogma.
— Anonymous



Men rule the World!
Women rule men.
— Anonymous



Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
— Anonymous



Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas.
— Admiral Hiram G. Rickover, father of the U.S. Nuclear Navy



The word "politics" is derived from the word "poly", meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
— Larry Hardiman



Government does not grant rights to men; men yield their rights to the government.
— Anonymous



The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer.
— Henry Kissinger



Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.
— Anonymous



I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
— Anonymous



Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
— Woody Allen



There is no They, Only Us.
— Graffiti



ASCII stupid question, get an stupid ANSI!
— Anonymous



No keyboard, press F1 to continue.
— Anonymous



For a nice date: call strftime(3C)
— Anonymous



2b || !2b; that is the question...
— Anonymous



Reality.sys corrupted. Universe halted. Reboot(Y/N) ?
— Anonymous



I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on tape somewhere.
— Anonymous



Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
— Anonymous



Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?
— Anonymous



640K ought to be enough for anybody.
— Bill Gates, 1981




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