— Albert Einstein
My heart Has a Mind of Its Own.
— Connie Francis
Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little,
and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick,
and if we got sick, at least we didn't die;
so, let us all be thankful.
— Buddha
Let a man warm himself by your fire and he will be warm for an hour;
set him on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
— Anonymous
Facts are meaningless.
They can be used to prove anything that's even remotely true.
— Homer Simpson
Friends welcome anytime,
relatives by appointment only.
— Sign on house door (INFP Group)
If our behavior is strict, we do not need fun!
— Anonymous
The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.
— Patricia Swerda
American Stance: Everything not forbidden is permitted.
Prussian Stance: Everything not permitted is forbidden.
— Mark-Jason Dominus
Not all that is counted counts and not all that counts can be counted.
— Albert Einstein
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
— Abraham Lincoln
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.
— Anonymous
Fiction is the truth inside the lie.
— Stephen King
Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.
— Sophocles
Ideas are to our evolving mind what mutations are to our species.
— Leroy Jack Syrop
If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
— Brooke Shields
What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?
— Dr. Robert Schuller
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
— Stephen Leacock
To be great is to be misunderstood.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary.
Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.
— Albert Einstein
If you believe in an afterlife, you might have as one of your wishes to have all your questions answered.
That may be a good thing, but not nearly so good as having all your answers questioned, and hearing the real questions you never thought of asking.
— Anonymous
Failure Is Not An Option.
It's bundled with your software.
— Anonymous
(And) #!s, #!s
Oh baby!
(When) she moves, she moves ...
— Ricky Martin
On average the total walking of an American these days
—that's walking of all types: from car to office, from office to car, around the supermarket and shopping malls
—adds up to 1.4 miles a week, barely 350 yards a day.
— Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods
Growing Old is Mandatory. Growing Wise is Optional.
— Sign in a Counselor's Office
Please be Quiet! We Need to Hear a Pin Drop.
— Bowling Alley Sign
Don't Stand There and be Hungry, Come on in and Get Fed Up.
— Sign in a Restaurant Window
Out for a quick byte.
— Sign on the Door of a Computer Store
We Would Be De-Lighted If You Sent In Your Bill.
However, If You Don't You Will Be.
— Sign at the Electric Company
We'll Be Back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!
— Sign in a Veterinarian's Waiting Room
Help! We Need Inn-Experienced People.
— Sign Outside a Hotel
No Appointment Necessary, We Hear You Coming.
— Sign Outside a Muffler Shop
The Best Way to get Back on your Feet - Miss a Car Payment.
— Sign at a Car Dealership
Let Me Meat Your Needs.
— Sign in a Butcher's Shop
Salesman Welcome, Dog Food is Expensive.
— Sign on a fence
Time Wounds All Heels.
— Sign in a Podiatrist's Office
We Really Know Our Stuff.
— Sign on a Taxidermist's Window
If You Don't See What You Are Looking For You've Come To The Right Place.
— At an Optometrist's Office
Push, Push, Push.
— Sign on Maternity Room Door
If We See Smoke We Will Assume You Are On Fire and Take Appropriate Action.
— Sign in a Non-Smoking Area
Let us remove your shorts.
— Sign on an Electrician's Truck
Keep Your Eyes on the Road and Stop Reading These Signs.
— Billboard on the Side of the Road
We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
— Towing Company Sign
Don't call us, we'll call you.
— Psychic's Hotline Sign
Hello, can we pick your nose?
— Sign on Door of a Plastic Surgeon's Office
Invite us to your next blowout.
— A Sign at a Tire Shop in Milwaukee
Seven Days Without Pizza Makes One Weak.
— Pizza Shop Slogan Sign
We repair what your husband Fixed.
— Plumber Sign
If you rest, you rust.
— Helen Hayes
Statistical observation:
In 1998, 0.00000364% of all deaths in the US were due to gun-related accidents.
In 1998, 0.00018052% of all deaths in the US were due to traffic-related accidents.
(You are fifty times more likely to be killed by a car than a bullet.)
— Cliff Savage
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Show him to the Internet
and he won't bother you for weeks.
— Anonymous
I rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.
— Anonymous
Only left-handed people are in their right minds.
— Anonymous
A good doctor will never run out of patience.
— Anonymous
This machine is powered by ATP.
— Anonymous
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
— Anonymous
Friction is a drag.
— Anonymous
186,000 miles per second, is not just a good idea--it's the law.
— Anonymous
Physicists have their quarks.
— Anonymous
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
— Anonymous
This is the bottom line.
________________________
— Anonymous
At this point in time. ---> .
— Anonymous
It’s a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you're tired—you quit when the gorilla is tired.
— Robert Strauss
Fans don't boo nobodies.
— Reggie Jackson
We made too many wrong mistakes.
— Yogi Berra
Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded.
— Yogi Berra
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
— Yogi Berra
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
— Yogi Berra
Ninety percent of this game is half mental.
— Yogi Berra
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
— Yogi Berra
You can observe a lot by watching.
— Yogi Berra
Prediction is very hard, especially when it's about the future.
— Yogi Berra
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
— Anonymous
The world is filled with willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
— Robert Frost
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
— Dan Quayle
Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.
— Adlai Stevenson
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
— Marie Curie
If I look confused it's because I'm thinking.
— Samuel Goldwyn
Worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
— Dorothy Galyean
Stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancies.
— Anonymous
Eschew Obfuscation! Espouse Elucidation!
— Anonymous
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
— Jeanette Rankin
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
— Judith S. Martin
... at least 80 percent of all cancer is attributable to environmental influences.
— International Agency of Research on Cancer, World Health Organization
No matter where you go, there you are.
— Buckaroo Banzai
There are no facts, only interpretations.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Curiosity killed the cat, but at least it died a wiser cat.
— Rene F. Gutierrez Guerrero, INTP Internet Group
Plato is my friend
Aristotle is my friend
but my best friend is truth.
— Isaac Newton
Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient.
There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.
— Bill Gates
Everyone has a plan,
until they get hit.
— Mike Tyson
To turn $100 into $110 is work.
To turn $100 million into $110 million is inevitable.
— Edgar Bronfman
The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, the solution comes to you and you don't know how or why.... The truly valuable thing is the intuition.
— Albert Einstein
How beautiful it is to do nothing,
and then rest afterwards.
— Spanish Proverb
To be a champion long-distance runner you have to run on the edge of death.
— Toshihiko Seko, World Class Marathoner
Who we are affects whom we interact with, and whom we interact with shapes who we become.
— The Complexity of Cooperation, R. Axelrod, 1997
. . . models cannot be proven or validated, but only tested and invalidated.
— Konikow, 1992
According to my cat, my opinions don't matter.
— Anonymous
The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
— Richard Hamming
You can't solve a problem with the same thinking that created the problem in the first place.
— Albert Einstein (on a bike)
The world does not encourage a perfectly rational army, because a perfectly rational army would run away.
— Anonymous
The harder I work, the luckier I get.
— Anonymous
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It only annoys the pig, and you waste your time.
— Suzette Mills (who may have quoted from elsewhere)
Tax Bads, not Goods.
— Anonymous
Black Holes are where God is dividing by zero.
— Anonymous
Statistics are like a bikini.
What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital.
— Anonymous
In Wine there is Wisdom, In Beer there is Strength; In Water there is
Bacteria.
— Old German Saying
That's very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
— Anonymous
No generalization is correct, not even this one.
— Anonymous
Hydrogen is a colourless, odourless gas which, given enough time, turns into people.
— Henry Hiebert
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by
stupidity.
— Anonymous
You have to be crazy to run, but smart enough to win.
— Badwater 146-mile ultramarathon winner Bill Mennard
Nothing can stop him. Not even common sense.
— Anonymous
Waiter, there's no fly in my soup!
— Kermit the frog
That particular mistake will not be repeated. There are plenty of mistakes left that have not yet been used.
— Andy Tanenbaum
It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
— Anonymous
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.
— Anonymous
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
— Arthur C. Clarke
We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
— Lord Rutherford
I don't live on the edge, but sometimes I go there to visit.
— Anonymous
The really nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise and is not preceded by long periods of worry and depression!
— Anonymous
When in doubt, um...
— Anonymous
He who throws mud loses ground.
— Anonymous
Real data are full of surprises.
— Anonymous
We are surrounded by insurmountable opportunities.
— Anonymous
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things
Right now I am so far behind, I will never die.
— Anonymous
Own what you do.
— Anonymous
Life isn`t short. You`re just dead for so long!
— Anonymous
I can't talk now - I'm trying to communicate.
— Anonymous
To divide fools is easy, to unify them difficult.
— Mongolian proverb
Gerunding adverbly, Noun verbed.
— Anonymous
Knowledge must be gathered and cannot be given.
— Anonymous
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice
as much as we speak.
— Epictetus
No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.
— Voltaire
The only thing necessary for the triumph of good is for evil men to do nothing.
— Anonymous
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
— Albert Einstein
Things are as they are, and will end as they must.
— Anonymous
There's a fine line between vision and hallucination.
— Anonymous
Older and Bolder!
— Anonymous
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
— Anonymous
I'm not vegetarian because I love animals.
I'm vegetarian because I hate plants.
— Anonymous
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
— G.B. Shaw
Time is just one thing after another.
— Anonymous
Speed kills - Distance only maims.
— Runners' Saying
All models are wrong. Some models are useful.
— George Box (eminent statistician)
Better not to speak and be taken for a fool, than to speak and erase all doubt.
— Abraham Lincoln
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
— Grave's Law
I would like your opinion on something.
— Anonymous
This line intentionally left blank.
— Anonymous
Its a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.
— Environmental Consultant
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
— Anonymous
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
— Anonymous
Telepathy... It's coming...
— Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx
If I were to ask you a hypothetical question, would you answer it?
— Anonymous
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrowmindedness and many people need it sorely on these accounts.
— Mark Twain
Remember, celery stalks at midnight.
— Anonymous
After a pint, you really start to feel good.
— American Red Cross
I know that you think you understand what you thought I said. But I am not sure that you realize that what I said is not really what I meant.
— Richard M. Nixon
I know you're an optimist if you think I'm a pessimist.
— Anonymous
Mermaid mathematicians wear algae-bras.
— Anonymous
e to the i dx dy
e to y dy
cosine secant log of pi
disintegrate em RPI !!!
— RPI Cheer
Mathematics contains much that will neither hurt one if one does not know it nor help one if one does know it.
— J.B. Mencken
Energy equals milk chocolate square.
— Anonymous
Two atoms were walking down the street.
One turns to the other and says, "Oh, no! I think I'm an ion!"
The other responds, "Are you sure?!?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
— Anonymous
Got mole problems? Call Advogadro at 602-1023.
— Anonymous
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
— Drew Lawson
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is a great deal of difference.
— Anonymous
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
— Albert Einstein
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
— Albert Einstein
I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.
— Albert Einstein
Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
— Albert Einstein
I never thought that others would take them so much more seriously than I did.
— Albert Einstein about his theories
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
— H. H. Williams
Charles Darwin when he saw a beetle and picked it up. He saw a second and picked that one up in the other hand. He then saw a third one which he really wanted. Not knowing what to do, he shoved one of the ones he was holding into his
mouth in order to pick up the third one. The one in the mouth emitted some kind of stuff which made him spit out the beetle and also lose the other two!
— Anonymous
Q: What does (x-a)(x-b)(x-c)...(x-z) equal?
A: [Hint: check out the 24th factor].
— Anonymous
My Karma Just Ran Over Your Dogma.
— Anonymous
Men rule the World!
Women rule men.
— Anonymous
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
— Anonymous
Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas.
— Admiral Hiram G. Rickover, father of the U.S. Nuclear Navy
The word "politics" is derived from the word "poly", meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
— Larry Hardiman
Government does not grant rights to men; men yield their rights to the government.
— Anonymous
The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer.
— Henry Kissinger
Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.
— Anonymous
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
— Anonymous
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
— Woody Allen
There is no They, Only Us.
— Graffiti
ASCII stupid question, get an stupid ANSI!
— Anonymous
No keyboard, press F1 to continue.
— Anonymous
For a nice date: call strftime(3C)
— Anonymous
2b || !2b; that is the question...
— Anonymous
Reality.sys corrupted. Universe halted. Reboot(Y/N) ?
— Anonymous
I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on tape somewhere.
— Anonymous
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
— Anonymous
Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?
— Anonymous
640K ought to be enough for anybody.
— Bill Gates, 1981